Permettez-moi de vous dire comment je vous vois.
Vos yeux sont le faisceau eau
Votre voix est violet
Vos lèvres sont le lilas, mmmm;
Votre sourire est saphir
et la touche, topaze
Votre coeur est la mer de corail,
Ou céruléen, ou je n'ai pas vu;
Votre âme et le organisme sont toutes les couleurs.
Nous vivons entre le ciel et l'océan,
Et vous êtes tous bleus émotion.

Let me tell you how I see you.
Your eyes are watery beams of light.
Your voice is purple.
Your lips are lilac, mmm.
Your smile is sapphire,
and your touch, topaz
Your heart is coral sea,
or cerulean, or I don't know what I've seen.
Your soul and body are all the colors.
We live between the sky and ocean,
and you are every blue emotion.

( Not far from what the online translators rendered... )

Any thoughts? joyeuse13? I fear I got a bit tangled between nouns and adjectives, and I gave up trying to parallel genders.

This time it's to Hawai'ian and back.

E wehewehe ana aupehea 'iko au 'oe.
K-o-u maka molehu
K-o-u lehelehe lilia.
K-o-u leo aloe, mmm.
K-o-u 'aka'aka 'ako'ako'a a k-o-u pa poni
K-o-u 'uhane uliuli, a aouli paha,
a kala 'ike maka ole 'ia paha
K-o-u mana'o a kino anenue polu.
Ke noho nei ma-kou mawaena papa lani a moana
a pu'uwai kela polu keia 'oe.

I'm explaining how I see you.
Your eyes are twilight.
Your lips are lilies.
Your voice is aloe, mmm.
Your laughter is coral.
Your welcoming embrace is royal purple.
Your spirit is deep sea, and the high sky maybe,
and maybe a color not seen by my eyes.
Your mind and body are a blue rainbow.
We all dwell between the firmament and open ocean,
and you are all the blues of the heart.



I found this a bit more limiting, and less illuminating, than Japanese. However, I particularly like the voice and laughter lines.
Aside from switching the order of lips and voice and moving the "mmm" to the voice to go with "aloe", the only real choice I had to make was whether to use ma-kou for we ("everyone") or ma-ua ("you and I only"). "We two" probably makes more sense, but "everyone" is closer to my original thought. The poem was sufficiently intimate that it didn't lose focus by making one statement on the human condition as opposed to issuing an invitation.

The idea here is to see how the choice of language influences the way thoughts are put together and pictures are constructed. My medium is a poem of very simple structure called "Every Blue", which I wrote and posted some time ago.

Let me tell you how I see you.
Your eyes are iris
Your voice is violet
Your lips are lilac, mmmm;
Your smile is cobalt and your touch, tungsten light
Your heart is coral sea,
Or cerulean, or a shade I haven't seen;
Your mind and body are the whole spectrum.
We live between the sky and ocean,
And you are every blue emotion.

( How I spent five hours translating my poem into a language I do not know. )

Anata no kyou me wa kon desu
Anata no onsei wa taisei desu
Anata no kuchibiru wa mizuiro desu, mmmm;
Anata no isshou wa kobaruto desu,
Anata no furi, fujiro, Anata no shokkan, shikon
Anata no kokoro tamashii wa sangokai desu,
Wa sorairo, wa fukashi iro;
Anata no zenshinzenrei wa renzoku supekutoru desu.
Ichi ten, ichibou senri omoi desu,
Anata aoi desu.

Literally:

Your penetrating eyes are navy blue
Your voice is blackish blue
Your lips are aqua, mmm.
Your smile/laugh is cobalt,
You touching me is light purple, and me being touched by you is a bluish purple.
Your heart and soul are ocean coral, sky-blue (cerulean), invisible color.
Your complete devotion (body and soul) is a continuous spectrum.
The sky and boundless ocean are feelings, and you are the blue colors.

( But that isn't a poem )

So here is the finished result (as previously posted):

Deep blue eyes searched mine,
and twilight sang to me.
Her kiss was like a waterfall,
her smile a burning beam.
The brush of her flowers left a deepening blush.
Her heart was coral, cool and sharp,
part sea and part sky,
and could not be seen by mortal eyes.
The works of her life flowed from dark blue to light.
From sea to sky, all emotions are water,
And she was every blue color.

Retranslated from Japanese:

Deep blue eyes searched mine,
and twilight sang to me.
Her kiss was like a waterfall,
her smile a burning beam.
The brush of her flowers left a deepening blush.
Her heart was coral, cool and sharp,
part sea and part sky,
and could not be seen by mortal eyes.
The works of her life flowed from dark blue to light.
From sea to sky, all emotions are water,
And she was every blue color.

( The poem: )

( Translated into Japanese: )

( Translated back to English: )

I welcome comments, especially from those of you who actually know Japanese (and who probably got some unintended laughs).

Let me tell you how I see you.
Your eyes are iris
Your voice is violet
Your lips are lilac, mmmm;
Your smile is cobalt and your touch, tungsten light
Your heart is coral sea,
Or cerullean, or a shade I haven't seen;
Your mind and body are the whole spectrum.
We live between the sky and ocean,
And you are every blue emotion.